the more i wanna do well, the deeper the pithole i fall into.. these results are seriously worse than any other results i've achieved throughout the two years.. ( i hope no one feels that i deserve these results cos i didnt put in effort? if so..sigh. i really did put in effort. ) but there's no time to be sad. im drying my tears and sprinting this last lap. i'll be back., with a smile on my face. there can be miracles, when you believe.

prelims over! it was all over this afternoon! and yea, my mum grounded me. serious this time. i am gonna stay home tmr when half my clique's going to watch a movie and the other half's eating at yuki yaki. but it's ok, cos i hate yuki yaki!! dat place shall nv be brought up infront of me again!! then again, it's not ok cos im gonna miss out on all the fun. sigh. accordingly to my mum, i am not to have anymore fun before As because my results are way toooo bad. and i cant go out with my friends too, cos they've got better results than me. which is like..very true indeed. so i shall gladly accept this fact and start mugging tmr!! (if i can try to give in to all temptations around me.) but i will definitely sneak out on friday night to meet up with the 2c peeps for dinner. i need to see them to feel motivated for As. at least, that's what i think. i've been playing alot on the piano these days. it's now my greatest temptation! i think playing on the piano is the only thing that can bring me self-confidence. not that i can play very well. i have to confess. the only piano examination i took was the grade 1 exam, and that was 12 years ago!! haha i stopped lessons 10 years ago when i was still learning grade 3 i think. ha, and so for all these 10 years, i've been playing on the piano just for leisure. i vaguely remember how i managed to come up with a tune of a ch8 tv serial on the piano when i was pri4! and i suddenly saw the light!! and so for all these years, whenever i have the urge to play the piano, i would experiment with all kinds of different chords! and recently i managed to get rid of my fear of working with sharps and flats. and to me, it's really a great achievement la. yeaa and i composed 3 songs. i think they are quite disgusting la, but i recorded my first piece and my clique said it was not bad! =D AND SO! I HAVE DECIDED. i shall take up some pop piano course after As. cos i really cannot do without an instructor. or else i will stop here and nv get to improve. =D talking bout music, i haven decided whether i wanna join MCO permanently after As. though i am not needed for the dec performance. i feel kinda tempted cos lls is the conductor. and secondly cos i don't want my yangqin skills to go to waste. yet! i must admit i really have no talent for yangqin. i lost all my confidence of playing it after joining ajco. ha, firstly due to my own laziness. and secondly due to the many times of failure at performing solo pieces. i kinda admit defeat. haha. joining MCO would be somewhat a lifelong commitment i think. i can imagine dragging myself out of bed on saturday mornings to go for pracs. ohmaaaan. can i take it? what if i decide to pon? haha. sigh. dilemma. shall think bout it after As. guess this shall be my last entry before As. ha. i really hate to see the next two weeks coming. i hope the principal won't wanna see me? sad. scared. one month left. the last lap. my last struggle. have to make it no matter what. there's no turning back. i can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me* i really hate it when my imaginations run wild.

sheeeeesh. you know i really give up on my prelims already. really have no mood to finish up the papers cos the results will sark anyway. i really feel like sitting here.. wait for the week to pass.. so that i can mug like nv before and start all over again!! but i don't want next week to come!! i don't wanna see one graded subject and two other subjects ungraded, like it has always been. *CRIES*

okok don't think bout results.. just focus and study.. studying is really.. sigh.

my creative zen v plus is here!! (((: the singpost man called early in the morning, asking for my dad. and when i told him my dad's working, he said, " oh ya! your husband told me he's in office! can i give you your creative product now? i am at your door already." and sure enough, the doorbell went off. but before that, i insisted on telling him that i was the daughter and NOT the wife!!! ha.. anw the man attempted to play with nicky, but of cos.. nicky deemed him as an intruder. ahaha.

anyway, you may be thinking.. first the crumpler.. then the v plus.. but no, nobody in my family struck lottery (we don't buy 4d or toto anyway). the v plus was ordered a few months back.. my parents decided then that it would be a motivation for me to study.. err, actually i am not sure if it worked.. cos i am not really into IT.. haha and my creative muvo is still doing fine.. the crumpler is also some sorta motivation from my sis.. somehow this kinda thing don't really work for me i guess.. cos i always differentiate a want and a need clearly.. ok la, to be more straightforward, i am stingy la. don't really spend money. ahaha.

yupps, back to mugging!

my sister just bought this for me! ((:

credits:crumplersg.com